Pregnant at 45

Well, I knew I was either pregnant or heading into early menopause. It's funny... two weeks ago I told my colleague that I was so tired I could almost put my head down on my desk and have a sleep right there. The next day I did leave work a little early due to exhaustion. And one evening last weekend, I ended up being a bit tearful as I "just didn't feel right". I thought it was just from being a little under the weather, headache, allergies acting up, and stress from school. Then Saturday it occurred to me that my last period was before Christmas, and the arrival of family on the 24th. I don't remember when, exactly.

On Sunday, while picking a few things up at the drug store, I grabbed a pregnancy test. Wow. Positive.

So, the past three days I have been processing... and processing. 

At my age, the chances of getting pregnant are 2%. Now that I am pregnant, the chance of a miscarriage is 60%. That is high! I had no idea. I am remaining calm as, with this statistic, it may be a short-lived experience. I accept that. I had slowly adjusted to the idea of just having our two lovely boys (both 15 years now) and of heading out on some beautiful world adventures as a couple once they are off to university. So, life is very good either way. 

My first appointment is on Valentine's Day, which I took as a sweet sign.
Once I hit 7 weeks, the statistics really drop down in my favour, and then way down to 10.8% at 12 weeks. 

All I can do is remain calm and slightly detached (if possible!), and realistic to the possibility that this might be a little glimpse of something that might not be meant for us, after all.
But I hope so.